Getting back into the swerves and verves of dating can be tough, especially coming out of a long-term relationship. It can be so easy to start a relationship with the first person you meet or heck, even match with on a dating app. But without knowing someone well, jumping into a relationship too early can spell disaster. Top Life Coach, Carole Ann Rice knows how important it is to learn the ins and outs of someone before you commit. So, she’s revealing the five things you need to know about someone before you date them:
- Find out about any deal-breakers – If you know what your deal-breakers are, such as marriage, kids, location, you should find this out early on. Sketching out your expectations of your partner (and, in turn, yourself) will build a lot of transparency and trust. It’s important to know that if you aren’t willing to change something, and they aren’t either, it won’t work at all.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt – You should always give people the benefit of the doubt and remember that it’s okay to not know absolutely everything immediately. You don’t need instantaneity or immediacy – knowing someone grows organically over time, alongside trust.
- Don’t compare them to your past – For you and your partner, it’s paramount not to compare with your past relationships. A new relationship is best started with a blank slate – don’t tarnish them with your old thoughts and bad expectations. If you have emotional baggage, it’s important to leave it behind as it’ll only make your new relationship harder.
- Know their likes and dislikes – Assessing how well your values and interests align should be done so early on, to avoid wasting time. If you and your new date have extreme differences, and neither of you are willing to budge, it’s not going to work. For example, if they live and breathe football, taking up most weekends – is that something you can deal with?
- Be aware of their dating history – Do a quick check for any red flags; no relationships, too many relationships; hundreds of one-night stands. Be sure to let them explain their past – being mature about how the person describes their dating history is a large indicator of how they can perform in the future. Maturity is also a great sign that they’re emotionally ready to begin another relationship.